


blood & details

by Baby_Droll



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Flash Fic, M/M, Post-Civil War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 18:16:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19892200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baby_Droll/pseuds/Baby_Droll
Summary: It was a mistake people made a lot, assuming he did anything for principle.





	blood & details

**Author's Note:**

> this is a character study more than anything else.

Steve doesn’t know much about how he’s gotten here. It's been largely on autopilot. Speaking in scripts. 

He knows that now he is kneeling over Tony. He knows that he brings the shield down, and it makes an unholy noise crushing into Tony’s chest. Scrapes against metal and then carves into flesh like overly ripe fruit. He smells blood, he’s covered in viscera. His hands are wet with it. 

He doesn’t feel anything, though. He doesn’t know if Tony is dead but he can’t think about that. Not now. He doesn’t care.

I love you. More than anything, he had thought. Until the end of the line, though, is what he said out loud over and over again, praying that Bucky knew what he actually meant. Could feel it the same way he could. I’d die for you. I’d kill for you. I would burn down the world for you. I tried to dive after you off that fucking train but someone grabbed me before I could leap. 

It was a mistake people made a lot, assuming that he did anything for principle. 

When he looks away from Tony’s pale face, it’s into Bucky’s eyes. He blinks once, then twice, and nods. 

Steve stands up, barely able to hold up his own weight. Drops the shield. 

* * *

When they get to the border, they get a room at a small hostel. Steve doesn’t know what happens, but suddenly he’s kneeling in a dirty cramped shower, while Bucky scrubs dried blood from his skin. It flakes off in sheets almost, filling the bathroom with copper scented steam. 

I love you, he thinks. I love you so much that this doesn't feel real. I love you so much it beats against the cage of my chest, desperate to get out. None of it feels as wrong as it should. I feel lighter than I have in years. I feel like I have tipped the world from my shoulders. 

Bucky tips Steve’s head back, cupping his hands to pour water over his hair. He’s saying something, but Steve can’t hear him over the water dripping into his ears, so he just hums softly in response. 

He tips over just enough to lay his head on the thigh closest to him, his feet straining against the inner edge of the small tub. 

“We might never stop running.”

Bucky pauses, as if to gather his next words carefully. 

“I don’t know why you feel like I am worth all of this. I don’t understand.” 

Steve closes his eyes. Inhales the stale scent of mothballs, cigarette smoke, and burnt sugar coming off of Bucky’s stolen jeans. Tries to feel braver than he actually is. 

“I love you too much to stop.” 

* * *

  
  


They lie in the too small bed with their feet hanging off the end. They can hear talking on a radio through the thin walls, the heavy boots of soldiers walking towards their door. 

Bucky reaches out and grabs Steve's hand so tight the bones in his hands grind together. He closes his eyes and waits. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i think a far more compelling consideration of the civil war narrative is as a love story. this story has probably been written by far smarter people than me. steve's entire arc up until endgame is a love story, fight me.


End file.
